Money changes everything...
It's interesting what money will do to people. It will change their attitude. It will change their outlook on life. It will change their behavior.
Recently, Ceci and I have started giving Elliana an allowance. It’s nothing big – a quarter here and a quarter there, and its for doing little things around the house like watering the flowers, organizing her dirty clothes, and for opening the garage door. We have a garage door opener so the door thing is very difficult. A quarter for pushing a button!
At first, this allowance thing was great. Elliana would get her chores done and then she would get a little reward, a couple quarters. She would then ask when she could go to Captain Sundae or the candy store to spend her hard earned cash. All of this was fine until her attitude changed. Recently, she opened the garage door by pushing the button (hard job), and then walked over to me and held her hand out. What’s up with this I asked? The quarter thing had turned from a treat to an expectation.
But last night, the money story took another turn. This time I used it to my advantage. Last night Elliana kept getting out of bed. The reason – she wasn’t tired because she took a long nap in the afternoon. I got tired of this after an hour or so, and a little upset. Then it hit me – use the quarter thing to my advantage. So, I went upstairs, grabbed a quarter from my dresser, went into Elliana’s room, and said, “If you don’t get out of bed again I’ll give you this quarter.” A big smile appeared on her face as her head hit the pillow. 9 hours later she came down stairs with the quarter in her hand, smile on her face, and said, “Thanks for the quarter dad!”
Money changes everything.
3 comments:
Dave I read your post, can I get a quarter?
So when you want her to do something that is obedient and honoring to her mother and/or father are you going to have to pay for the obedience?
Was it really to your (or her) advantage in the long run?
Was the reward a true blessing?
Just been there done that and figured out I had been duped.
One thing we found that works as a reward/pay system is we keep a tally board for jobs accomplished. The expectation is that the work will be done joyfully and with a willing spirit. If so then there is a tally count given for the job - example, unloading dishwasher is 2 tallies, etc.
Each tally has a value of .10 or .25 (we have raised the value as kids have aged). Pay day then occurs when we decide. Kids count up their tallys (counting by 5's, 10's is a good learning excercise for the young ones :))
We started this program two years ago when our boys were ages 4 and 6 at the time. They now know that tallies are an earning it is their money and on "payday" they have to break it down as follows: they have tithe their 10%, save 10% in their account and the rest is theirs to spend (at Capt. Sundae and such).
BTW, tallies have been known to be deducted when other methods of discipline failed, i.e. corner time. That usually gets the desired result. They have learned what is given can, in fact, be taken away. So, yes, money does change everything at that point - they know they will get less on "pay day".
Now at 6 and 8 we need only say "tallies are on the line" and they know to WATCH OUT! :)
I put this out here only in hopes it might help futher bless your family - it sure has us. So I say "pay it forward".
Take care,
Kris
I agree with the above poster. Helping out around the house here and there and honoring/respecting/obeying your parents should be an expectation, not something bribed or rewarded.
I think 4 is too young for a child to even understand what an allowance is. I also think an allowance shouldn't be money handed out "here or there". It should follow a regimented plan they can understand so they comprehend WHY they are being given money.
Just my opinion.
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