Why I disappointed God...
In my last post, I shared that I disappointed God. Here is why I said that...
I was preparing for my message on Saturday Night. When I sat down to finish up a couple loose ends and go over it, I realized I had a problem. I had too much stuff. There was some good content in there, but some of it needed to hit the cutting room floor. So, I started cutting. I eliminated a few things, and felt all right about the message. I didn't like the transitions, but I felt decent about the message. I even landed on a good conclusion/challenge, clarified a couple of illustrations, and thought it would be all right.
Then I went to bed, and all night I tossed and turned. I was worried about the message. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became. I woke up early and went for a run with the hope of clearing my mind. It worked for a little bit. Then I headed to church to work on it. I worked on it, but didn't feel that great about it, but I was trusting God.
Finally, it was time to share the message. I started off feeling good, and then I lost all confidence. I felt the message was flat. I didn't think it was going anywhere. So, I gave up. My attitude shifted from sharing a message to how can I get through this as quickly as possible. So, that is what I did, and I didn't even share some things I feel God put on my heart - that is why I feel I disappointed God. I didn't say the things He wanted me to say, and I feel sick about it.
Well, now it's Tuesday. I'm feeling a little better. I'm not kicking myself about it. Instead, I'm learning from my mistake this past weekend. The good news is... I get another chance this Sunday, and I'm excited. There are some things I feel God wants me to share. The message I'm sharing I was suppose to share on April 13, but we changed things up at the last minute. The message is about misunderstandings and conflict and how to handle them in a godly way. I think, sorry I know, this is a message that people need to hear. Why do I say that? Because there are some people that are NOT handling conflict and their problems in a way that honors God. In fact, the way they are handling things breaks the heart of God.
So, this Sunday, I get to share again, and my prayer is that I will not disappoint God. I don't care if people are disappointed. I just don't want God to be disappointed.
2 comments:
Dave, I really resonate and appreciate your honesty. It's both attractive and inspiring. I feel you.
I've read your post a couple times, and I think this is both an interesting question and conversation, so I'l throw it out there - is it possible to "disappoint" God? I realize this probably spills into theological areas, but I just wonder it? And I really don't know the answer to it. I just wonder it. Because it seems a lot of pressure to always be trying to please God (and not let Him down). Could God's love for us and Jesus in us still allow God to ever be disappointed in us? Maybe. Again, I'm now just thinking out loud (or, thinking by typing). I might be way off.
I keep thinking of that one Francis Chan message where he wondered... Scripture (in Hebrews) says that without faith it is impossible to please God. Could the opposite be true, that with faith it is impossible to displease God? That seems possible to me. You brought a message that you, in faith, believed God wanted you to share. Though you aren't pleased with the delivery and impact and were maybe a little disappointed because you care so much, I think it is still possible God was pleased because you acted in faith. I don't think He is disappointed.
Just my thoughts. Take 'em, leave 'em, blow them away, whatever.
I love you bro. You won't go wrong because you're heart is in the right place.
Matt
Hey as I was reading this message my first thought was also...is it possible to disppoint God? I don't know the answer either. God already knows everything we are going to do, he knew the message you were going to preach, he knew who needed to hear what you talked about and God uses are mistakes, so is it really possible to disappoint him? He is giving you another chance, that he already knew he was going to give you, maybe he is just teaching you a lesson from your sermon, and you didn't really disappoint him at all. Either way God loves us! We make mistakes and he still loves us the same, if we made it or not! What a great father we got!
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